I, the Silent Koala, am an office-bound marsupial working a life of quiet drudgery for a shipping company in this unfair city. Due to a strange twist of fate as I approach my 31st year I find myself now working in a large office which contains only two bodies; one is my small, furry and rather cute marsupial torso, and the other is the rather larger and less cute figure of The Boss.
I have quickly discovered, trapped together with no other sane persons all day as I am, that The Boss is suffering (and therefore, I am also suffering) from a range of idiosyncracies and unusual manners of thought and behaviour, including but not limited to :
Malapropisms: frequent, unwitting and confusing
Paranoia: terrifying, intense and unhinged
Casual Racism: in that middle-aged country-folk way of thinking that they've nothing against "them", if you follow me
Technophobia / Computer Illiteracy: 'tippex on the screen' doesn't even begin to cover it
Terrible Geography: a negative attribute for those working in shipping
Zero Memory: for names, places, numbers, or anything said more than 3 seconds ago
Aggressive Denial : that any of the above are actually taking place
The Boss has by my estimation now been working in this industry for close to 30 years and is still incapable of picking up the phone and successfully executing the greeting "Good [state correct time of day here]
What shall unfold now is, sadly, a true and accurate account of such events, mostly created as I need some kind of outlet for this lunacy lest it consume my tiny fur-enshrouded brain also.
Enjoy, or whatever.
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